


To Say Goodbye

by OnceBlinkInsomniac



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Family Feels, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, OT7
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26330953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnceBlinkInsomniac/pseuds/OnceBlinkInsomniac
Summary: "Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death."Or the one where six struggle to let go, even when holding on just might kill them.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	1. Yoohyeon

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is a new story I started. Fair warning, it’s going to get a bit angsty. I hope you guys will enjoy it anyhow

The girls were in the middle of running through their newest choreography for what had to be the tenth time that hour when Yoohyeon fumbled a step, accidentally stepping right into Siyeon’s path and painfully colliding with the older girl.

Both girls were sent tumbling to the ground with Yoohyeon’s fall being softened by Siyeon’s body. The older girl, however, wasn’t as lucky and she immediately clutched at her elbow which had collided with the hard-wooden floor especially hard. “Oh my god are you okay?” Yoohyeon asked, rapidly moving her weight off the other girl and moving to kneel beside her instead. Siyeon nodded her head but the painful wince gave her away.

Someone had turned off the music by that time and the rest of the girls had gathered around them. Minji was suddenly kneeling next to them with a first aid kit in her hands and Yoohyeon didn’t even bother asking where she got it. She’d gotten used to the leader’s ability to somehow always have whatever was needed at hand. Seeing that the rest of the girls were busy taking care of Siyeon, she stood up and quietly made her way out of the studio, feeling heavy with guilt.

All the girls had been working harder than ever before for their newest comeback and she couldn’t help but feel like she was holding them back. They’d always given it their all during comeback season, practicing from early morning till late at night with almost no breaks in between. But even when they all felt like they were seconds away from passing out from exhaustion. Even when their bodies ached constantly and getting up in the morning was a struggle, even then, they’d always enjoyed every moment of it.

After all, they weren’t just living their dream life, they were doing it with each other. Don’t get her wrong, they always hoped that each comeback would finally be the comeback that would land them their first win, and they were always disappointed when that didn’t happen. But they simply took it as motivation for next time.

This time, however, things were different. They all knew that they had to win this time. The promise they’d made months ago still floated through all their heads, reminding them of why they had to do this. The long practices and hours of schedules were now filled with long silences. Gone were the laughter and teasing, replaced by a sense of urgency. Almost like they were running out of time.

The incident with Siyeon was a perfect example of how much things had changed in the span of just a few months. Before, they would have probably laughed it off and Bora would have spent at least the next two hours teasing Yoohyeon for her mistake. Now, however, no one was laughing. How could they when their laughter sounded so empty? Six voices where there should be seven.

Yoohyeon made her way to the bathroom, locking the door behind her before sliding to the floor. Tears threatened to fall as she struggled to keep her emotions locked inside. There was no time for an emotional breakdown. Unfortunately, her brain didn’t hear the message and thoughts of her consumed her mind as she was taken back to memories of a better time. Back when six were still seven. When they still had their maknae.

_Yoohyeon was sitting in her small office in the company building practicing her English when a tentative knock sounded on the door. “Come in”, she called out, confused about who it could be considering the late hour. She’d thought she was the last person left in the building. She often stayed later than the other members, taking the extra time to practice whatever language she was learning at the time._

_The door opened to reveal Gahyeon, one of their new members. The girls had recently re debuted as Dreamcatcher and she still hadn’t gotten the chance to really get to know the youngest member. Unlike Handong, their other new member, the maknae was rather shy and tended to disappear from the room the second they were free, leaving the others no time to try and get to know her._

_Which is why she was surprised at her sudden appearance but she hid it nonetheless and smiled at her invitingly. “Hey. I thought you’d gone back to the dorm with the other girls”, she said. Gahyeon shook her head timidly. “I wanted to practice the choreography a few more times.” She explained. Yoohyeon nodded in understanding. Their debut stage was in a few days and their choreography for their debut song chase me was harder than any Minx choreography they’d ever done. Not to mention, it would be the girl’s first time performing on a stage so she could understand her nervousness._

_This had already been the longest conversation they’d ever had but she could feel herself already feeling protective over the younger girl. “Here, come sit down”, she told her, motioning towards the other chair in the small room. Gahyeon hesitated briefly before grabbing it and dragging it next to Yoohyeon before sitting down. “What are you doing?” she asked, looking at the notebook filled with scribbles on Yoohyeon’s desk._

_“I’m teaching myself English” she explained. “Wow, that must be hard. I’ve always wanted to learn another language but I never knew where to start.” Yoohyeon smiled excitedly as an idea formed in her head. “I can teach you if you want. I’ve already been helping Minji with some phrases here and there.” Gahyeon shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”_

_“Oh it’s no worry. Really. I would love to.” She stated. The younger girl didn’t answer for a few moments and Yoohyeon started fearing that she may have pushed her too hard but her worries were eased when a smile blossomed on her face, more genuine than any she’d seen so far. “If you’re sure.” She responded. Yoohyeon could still hear hesitation in her tone but she’d seen the excitement in the girl’s eyes and she suddenly had the urge to make her smile like that more often. “I am.”_

\---------

_Gahyeon ended up being a better student than Yoohyeon could have imagined and soon they were staying late at the company building for their study sessions. They would meet three times a week since Minji refused to let them stay late every night, reminding them that they needed to sleep._

_It was during these study sessions that Gahyeon slowly started coming out of her shell. Yoohyeon was surprised by how different the girl was from the image she first portrayed. It turned out that they had more in common than she thought. The girl reminded her of a miniature Bora sometimes. Not that Bora wasn’t already miniature thought. Something she’d never say aloud, not wanting to fear for her life._

_Her laugh especially reminded her of Bora. Just like her, it felt almost impossible for a sound so big to come out of a person so small. She couldn’t help but feel proud of herself whenever she was the reason for the laughter. And even though a part of her felt jealous, she also felt proud when Gahyeon also started showing this other side in front of the other girls._

_Soon enough, it felt like they’d always been seven and Yoohyeon couldn’t remember being just five. Somehow, things felt right. Like this was how they’d always been meant to be. The time they’d spend between disbanding as Minx and re debuting as Dreamcatcher had been a nightmare. Things had never been so confusing and all the girls spent all those months stressed out and depressed, thinking their dreams were over before they’d even gotten the chance to truly begin. It was the worst time of Yoohyeon’s life._

_And she wouldn’t hesitate on doing it all over again if it meant that Gahyeon and Handong joined their little family._

_Even though Yoohyeon had never been the youngest in the group, with that honor belonging to their former maknae Yubin, she was used to being the baby of the group. There was something about her that drove the other members to baby her and she honestly loved it. Gahyeon, however, woke up protective instincts she didn’t even know she had and soon, she came to see the younger girl like a little sister. Which is why it especially broke her when she remembered how she’d failed her in the end._

Yoohyeon was broken out of the memory by the sudden sound of her phone ringing. She took it out and saw that it was Minji calling. They were probably wondering where she’d gone. She felt ashamed of herself for slacking off when they should be practicing. It was the least they could do after all. Not that it would make up for what they’d done. Nothing they did would ever make up for it. Without another thought, she stood back up, ignoring the exhaustion that weighted her down.

Yoohyeon quickly turned walked over to the sink and turned on the faucet, cupping her hands beneath the water before throwing it on her face. After making sure that there was no sign of the the tears that had fallen, she grabbed a towel and dried her face before leaving the bathroom, ready for a few more hours of practice. It was already nearing midnight and, if these was a few months ago, they’d already be back in the dorm but that was then.

Now, the girls preferred to stay till two or three in the morning at least. They didn’t say it but the constant work helped keep their minds from the pain. It also helped that by the time they finally got back home, they were so exhausted that sleep was quick to claim them. It was the only way any of them could even sleep anymore. Some would probably think their new habits as unhealthy but, honestly, it was the only thing keeping the guilt from killing them.


	2. Handong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Handong remembers how it all began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry for taking so long to update. Hope you enjoy this chapter

The girls were standing in front of the two MC’s as they explained the game that they were going to play. Fake smiles adorned their faces as they joked around and acted the way they were expected to act. Handong, however, was having an especially hard time keeping the smile on her face. Bitterness filled her as she thought about how it was only during this comeback that their group had started being invited to variety shows on a more consistent basis.

The girls were standing in front of the two MC’s as they explained the game that they were going to play. Fake smiles adorned their faces as they joked around and acted the way they were expected to act. Handong, however, was having an especially hard time keeping the smile on her face. Bitterness filled her as she thought about how it was only during this comeback that their group had started being invited to variety shows on a more consistent basis.

One comeback too late. Gahyeon was the one who had always longed to participate in more variety shows the most and it somehow felt like a bitter achievement that, only when she was no longer with them, had they finally managed it. 

Handong was broken out of her thoughts by a hand slipping into her own. She didn’t have to turn to know it was Minji. The leader had a knack for always knowing when one of her members was feeling especially low and was always there to offer her support. She only wished the older girl was as understanding with herself as she was with the others. 

The MC’s announced the beginning of the game and Handong squeezed Minji’s hand once before slipping out of her grip to go over to the side she’d been assigned, a bright smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes on her face. She knew that Minji tended to take on all of her member’s burdens on her shoulders as if they were her own and she didn’t wish to add any more to her friend. The least she could do was pretend like everything was fine for the audience. 

The game they were playing was a common one. A song would play aloud and the first team to grab the stick on the table would get the chance to guess the song first. It was a game they’d played before and Handong was sure all the members were remembering the last time they’d played it. Back when six were still seven. They all put on great masks though, and Handong was sure that, to anybody that didn’t know them as well as she did, they all looked the same as back then. 

Handong, however, knew better. She could see the small, almost imperceptible changes that signaled to a much deeper problem. From the slight forcedness behind Bora and Yoohyeon’s antics to the too-bright smile on Minji’s face. From the way Siyeon’s posture was slightly bent, as though everything that had happened was physically weighing her down, to Yubin’s empty gaze as her mind wandered to dark places even as she nodded and smiled for the cameras, the audience none the wiser to the growing darkness that laid behind. 

The game was going well with both teams vying for first place when Hello by Nu’est suddenly came on. The very song Gahyeon had been so excited to guess correctly that one time. All the members simultaneously froze up, masks temporarily forgotten. An identical look of raw pain and anguish could be seen on all their faces as one of the MC’s suddenly hurried to change the song. The second MC forcefully laughed, trying to break the tense atmosphere that had suddenly filled the studio. The sound broke the members out of their memories and their masks instantly fell back into place, their smiles so bright that most would think they’d imagined what they’d just seen. 

The MC who had changed the song came back, announcing the game to be a tie before suggesting moving on to the next segment which was a Q&A segment. The members hurriedly agreed, ignoring the small, apologetic smile the MC shot their way and going back to their seats. 

“So, your group has always been known for having some of the most demanding choreographies. Is this still true for this new comeback? And can you give us any spoilers?” Nobody answered for a few moments and Handong quickly realized they were still trying to regain their composure from the previous, jarring reminder of what they’d once been. 

She quickly jumped to answer, giving off a long answer about how hard they’d been working to master their newest choreography and how excited they were to be able to finally show it off to their fans. She made sure to give out the longest answer possible, wanting to buy her members all the time they needed to regain their composure. That, however, backfired for Handong when the MC who had asked the question was quick to compliment her Korean after she’d finished. 

She knew he’d only been trying to be nice but it also served as a painful reminder. She quickly thanked him, wincing at the way her voice cracked. She was grateful for Bora who wasted no time jumping in to answer the next question, temporarily giving her a much-needed respite from the spotlight. 

Handong shook her head, almost as if she was trying to shake the thoughts out forcefully. Unfortunately, it was too late and before she knew it, the memories were flashing through her mind, taking her to a time when everything was so much easier. 

_ Handong groaned in frustration, throwing her pen to the other side of the room. Unfortunately for the person who had decided to enter the room at that exact moment, as the pen hit her right in the forehead before falling to the floor. Gahyeon winced before rubbing at the sore spot on her forehead. “Geez, what did that pen ever do to you?” she joked.  _

_ Handong immediately stood up, bowing slightly in apology. “I’m so sorry, I swear it was an accident.” Gahyeon waved her new groupmate off.” Don’t worry about it. It happens to the best of us. Is everything ok though?” she asked. Handong nodded her head, still embarrassed about the whole event. “Everything’s fine, I was just being a bit overdramatic.  _

_ Handong was expecting the younger girl to accept that and grab whatever she’d come into the room for before leaving but was surprised when the younger girl approached her instead, concern etched on her face. “I know we haven’t gotten the chance to get to know each other properly yet but I’d like to think I know you well enough by now to know you’re never just overdramatic. What is it? You can talk to me.” _

_ Handong contemplated waving her concerns off again, not liking the idea of burdening someone else with her problems, but she was honestly struggling and she figured she might as well take advantage of the ear the younger girl was offering. Besides, if she had to choose who she felt the least awkward around, it was definitely her. Not that she had anything against the other girls. Not at all. They’d all been extremely welcoming and kind but it still didn’t change the fact that they’d all known each other for years while Gahyeon and her had come in as outsiders.  _

_ Even though she’d technically been the first between the two of them to get to know the others, it was very different to simply make small talk and joke around than to actually let them in. And Handong had never been good at letting people in. She figured it might be time to change that. With that in mind, she returned Gahyeon’s gaze, feeling warm at the clear concern in the younger girl’s eyes. “It’s the language. It’s just…” she trailed off, unsure of how to explain it. _

_ “Frustrating?” Gahyeon asked, finishing her sentence. Handong nodded her head, turning back to look at the papers sprawled on her desk. “I just wasn’t expecting it to be this hard, you know? I just don’t want to disappoint you guys because I’m holding you back, you know?” _

_ Gahyeon stared at the older girl incredulously. “Hold us back? What on earth are you talking about? Unnie, you have to stop being so harsh on yourself. No one is expecting you to be immediately fluent in another language. Besides, you’ve already learned so much in so little time. It’s really quite impressive.” Handong started to shake her head, objections already on the tip of her tongue. She could feel her frustration building up. “Are you kidding? I can’t even keep up with you guys. Do you have any idea how it feels to just stand there completely out of the loop when everyone else is laughing at something someone said? To have to fake a smile and pretend like I’m in on the joke. And it’s not exactly like I can ask you guys to slow down and burden you. It’s not your fault you got stuck with a member who can’t learn quickly enough…” _

_ Handong wasn’t even near to being done but quickly shut up at the surprisingly fierce gaze the maknae sent her way. Handong rapidly paled as she realized she’d basically been screaming at the maknae who had only wanted to help. “I’m so sorry”, she quickly stated. Gahyeon shook her head, not wanting to hear it. Handong could see the slight disappointment in her eyes which she knew she deserved which is why she was especially surprised at what came out of her mouth next. _

_ “No. I don’t want to hear it. We all know how hard you’re working and we’re so proud. Now, you’ve been locked up in here all day. Come on.” Without waiting for a response, the younger girl grabbed her by the arm and started dragging her out the door. “We’re ordering in and watching a movie.”  _

_ It turned out that relaxing with her new groupmates had been exactly what she needed and as she sat on the couch, a bowl of spicy tteokbokki in her hands, paying more attention to the frustrated Bora who was trying to convince a doubtful Dami to put on another superhero movie after the current one they were watching finished, she could feel all the stress she’d been carrying fade away as it was replaced with a sense of companionship. A small smile grew on her face, unaware of the identical one on the maknae who was watching her.  _

_ \------------- _

_ A week after Handong’s near breakdown, things had changed for the better. Nothing too drastic. Just small, almost imperceptible changes that she hadn’t even noticed at first. The members had toned down a bit on their antics. They tried to include her more and spoke less rapidly. No one mentioned anything or looked at her any differently but Handong knew it had to be Gahyeon’s doing. The girl had taken to standing next to her most of the time and she was quick to whisper an explanation in her ear whenever she noticed even the slightest bit of confusion on the older girl’s face.  _

_ A few months later, it had taken her by surprise when Gahyeon slid up next to her while she was leaning against the kitchen counter one day, listening to the endless chatter as Minji and Bora cooked dinner for the girls, and casually started explaining a joke she’d missed in Mandarin.  _

_ Hearing someone speaking her mother language in person for the first time in almost a year had almost made her feel like she was back home for a few seconds. The girl’s pronunciation was notably not the best but that didn’t matter to Handong. After some questioning, she found out that Gahyeon had apparently convinced Yoohyeon to put a pause on their English lessons and start learning Mandarin instead. They were still years away from being fluent but the fact that her members had been willing to learn a completely new language just to make her feel included meant more to her than she could ever explain. Wordlessly, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around the shorter girl, her smile growing even bigger once she felt other pairs of arms joining the hug. _

_ She hid her face in Gahyeon’s shoulder, hoping the girl wouldn’t mind the wet spot her tears were responsible for. The silence lasted for a good 15 seconds, probably a record in Dreamcatcher’s dorm mind you, before Bora started complaining about the others getting to hug more of Handong, and before long, they were back to their usual fighting. Things couldn’t have been more different from a few months ago though. Even though she still failed to understand some words here and there, Handong didn’t feel like an outsider for a second. Especially not after seeing the length the girls were willing to go to make her feel welcomed. For the first time since leaving home, Handong realized that she might have just found a new one.  _

_ A hand slipped into her own, and Handong wordlessly squeezed it, both as a silent thank you and a promise to herself to never forget what the younger girl had done for her. To one day return the favor. If only she’d known then just how she would end up failing her instead. Maybe she could’ve avoided it somehow. Maybe then, she’d still be here. A lass, there was no way of knowing their happiness had an expiration date. And it was quickly running out.  _

“Handong?” A voice shook her out of the memory and she quickly realized everyone was looking at her expectantly. “I’m sorry, could you please repeat that?” she asked. The MC shot her a slightly annoyed look before repeating his question. Handong shoved the memories to the back of her mind, sitting up straighter as she answered the question smiling. Acting like they were fine was the hardest thing any of them had ever had to do but they had no choice.

Their company had urged them to go on a hiatus, take some time to mourn, but they had all refused vehemently, insisting on continuing the comeback they’d already started. After all, it was the reason they weren’t there during those last few days, and giving up now would mean that it would’ve all been for nothing. And the idea of them having lost their chance at a goodbye for nothing was enough to drive them all crazy. They were going to fulfill their last promise, no matter what it took. They had failed her when it’d mattered the most. They weren’t going to let it happen again. Even if it was too late to make it up to her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed the chapter, please leave a comment. What do you think happened to Gahyeon?


	3. Dami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say."

Silence reigned over the Dreamcatcher dorm. The faint rays of the rising sun shone through the kitchen window, breaking through the darkness and revealing the faint figure of a woman standing motionlessly in the middle of the kitchen, a glass of water in her hands.

Yubin sighed for the fifth time in as many minutes, eyes glued to the kitchen table. Despite the ever-consuming silence that had become the norm in the dorm, Yubin could almost hear the faint, ghostly sound of the laughter that had once filled the room. The kitchen had been the place where they used to spend almost all their time. No matter what time it was, it was a certainty that you would always find someone in there. Mostly Minji but still. It had become the place where they would hang out the most.

They used to joke about how Insomnias would probably be unsurprised to know that they hung out in the kitchen instead of in the living room like normal people. Then again, Bora would always remark, it’s not like they have any illusions of us being normal people to begin with. Playful fights would break out in the kitchen at least twice a day. While some things changed, like the members who were fighting -although most of the time it was Yoohyeon and Bora- or who stepped in to either intervene or join in on the teasing, one thing that never changed was the laughter that would come as a result. 

Another thing that never changed was Yubin almost always being a bystander. Watching their usual antics with a small smile hidden beneath a false look of disgust but very rarely joining in. She regretted that now. She wished she wouldn’t have settled for just watching, too anxious to even think about joining in most of the time. 

Yubin had always been a very private person. She took a long time to get comfortable with someone, and even then, growing comfortable with psychical shows of affection took even longer. She hadn’t grown up in a family where hugs were an everyday thing and as a result, she never knew how to show affection or even ask for it. One of her favorite parts of being a part of Dreamcatcher was having so many members who were overflowing with affection and had no sense of personal space, 

Still, her inability to express how much it meant to her frustrated her to no end. Especially when Insomnias were quick to single her out as the “normal one” in Dreamcatcher. She’d seen videos floating around the internet, showing her running away from her member’s affections, and while she knew they were only joking, she couldn’t help but feel even more discouraged about voicing her real thoughts, feeling like their fans now had an expectation of her and she had to fit the image they had of her. 

And so, she would stare at their antics, everyone unaware of the battle that was reigning inside her. It was rare that she was able to forget the voices that constantly filled her with doubt and join in. And when she did, she would usually be the first to stop, something which others took as a sign that she didn’t enjoy it as much. Something which wasn’t true at all. Yubin had never understood how people could be so energetic constantly when she found herself exhausted so quickly. She would often compare her members and herself to batteries. The other members were like the batteries of those new iPhones which lasted for hours while hers was like one of an iPhone 4, needing to be recharged various times a day. 

This wasn’t always a bad thing though. All the overthinking had made Yubin into someone who always noticed the little things. And sometimes, the little things were everything. Complete chaos wasn’t the only thing happening in Dreamcatcher’s dorm, despite popular belief. Something which Yubin had always loved was their ability to be together without being together. They would just spend time in the same room, usually the kitchen, each doing their own thing. 

She could almost see it if she closed her eyes tightly enough. Minji standing over the stove, trying out a new recipe she found online. Handong standing nearby, assisting. Yoohyeon sitting at the table, a book propped open in front of her, occasionally lifting her head to shush the noisy Bora and Siyeon. Gahyeon would be sitting next to Yoohyeon, either staring at her phone or making fun of one of the others. Yubin herself would be leaning against a wall, quietly taking it all in. 

Only she would notice the small smile that would unwillingly grow on Yoohyeon’s lips every time she shushed Bora, or how Gahyeon was looking through her photo gallery, filled with pictures of the members. The way Bora would tease Yoohyeon but would then lower her voice as to let the younger girl read in peace. Minji turning away from her cooking to quickly scan the room every now and then, making sure everyone was okay, in a way that was so instinctive that Yubin was sure Minji didn’t even realize she was doing it. Handong being able to predict what Minji needed next and handing it to her before she was even asked for it, so used to working together in tandem. Siyeon quickly moving to help Minji hand out the food once it was done. They were like a well-oiled machine.

Except now, a crucial part of the machine was gone and they were left struggling to continue without it. Even though they knew that, while they might be able to hang on for quite some time, a machine that is missing a part will inevitably fall apart. It was just a matter of when. 

\-------

The place that had once been the source of such happiness was now nothing more than a reminder of what they’d lost and the kitchen was now rarely used. Except by her since she apparently loved to torture herself, Yubin thought, a bitter chuckle leaving her lips. 

It wasn’t that the memories hurt her any less than it did the others as much as it was a self-imposed punishment. Yubin didn’t deserve any reprieve from the pain or the memories. Not after everything that had happened. Which is why, while everyone quickly headed to bed during the early morning when they usually arrived home from practice, eager for the two or three hours of dreamless sleep that awaited them as a result of their exhaustion, Yubin would force herself to stay awake a bit longer, to stand in the silence which had destroyed everything and to remember her failures as she let the silence destroy her too. 

_Yubin was leaning against a wall, taking big gulps of her water bottle and trying to catch her breath. Her ever watchful eyes watching her member’s usual antics. They’d been practicing for almost 4 hours straight already and, like always, Yubin wondered where members got so much energy from to still have enough to spend their break joking around._

_Minji and Yoohyeon had left to buy them all a few snacks from the vending machine one floor down, much to the other girl’s approval and the rest of the members were having a playful dance battle. One which Bora seemed to be winning, judging by the shorter girl’s screams. She was about to go see what was taking Minji and Yoohyeon so long when she noticed Gahyeon’s smile suddenly turning into a painful grimace, her hands flying to her abdomen as if she was in pain. Yubin immediately straightened up, closing the space between them in a few long steps._

_She was just about to question the younger girl when said girl straightened back up, her usual smile back on her face as if nothing had happened. “Is everything okay?” she asked Yubin, noticing the older girl stopping a few before in front of her. Yubin shook her head, wondering if she’d just imagined whatever it was, she thought she saw. “Unnie?” Gahyeon prodded and Yubin couldn’t help but feel as though she should have been the one asking her that._

_They had caught the other girl’s attention by then and Bora, Siyeon, and Handong were also looking at her, concern in their eyes. All the attention was making Yubin uncomfortable. “No. I mean, yes. Yes, everything is fine”, she stuttered. “I’m just going to go to the bathroom real quick.” Without another word, she turned and left the room, the pain that their maknae had seemed to be in all but forgotten._

_\----------_

_A few weeks later, the girls were hanging around the kitchen, waiting for lunch to be ready. It was their first off day in a few weeks and so, most were still wearing their pajamas and lazing around. The only member missing was their maknae. Minji had gone to check up on her an hour before and had told them she was still sleeping._

_Most of the others just wrote it off as her taking advantage of not having anything to do all day but Yubin was a bit taken aback. This was because while it may not have been weird for any of the others to sleep in so late, Gahyeon had always been an early riser. She felt that sleeping in was wasting a few hours of the day which could be used to do something else._

_This combined with the fact that she had noticed the younger girl’s constant state of fatigue in the last few days and her lack of eating was worrying her immensely. She hated to even think it but it all led her to one conclusion. All the girls knew that Gahyeon had always struggled with her body image and Yubin was starting to fear that their youngest member might have taken it to another level._

_She’d been watching the other girl for the last few days and waiting to be sure before she approached the other members and with Gahyeon still in bed, she felt now was the perfect time. Bora had gone to check up on Gahyeon so she would broach the subject once she returned._ _Yubin felt a bit of relief as the plan formed in her mind, feeling a bit of the anxiety lift._

_Bora walked back in and Yubin was just opening her mouth to start talking when she saw the look of worry on Bora’s face and stopped. “What’s wrong?” Yoohyeon quickly asked as she also noticed something was wrong._

_“I think Gahyeon’s sick. She’s curled up in bed and she’s having some strong abdominal pain”, she explained, worry lacing her voice. Minji reacted quickly, turning off the stove and walking out to check on their youngest member herself. The other members were not far behind and Yubin couldn’t help but wonder if this was a result of the girl not eating and if she should’ve stepped in sooner._

_The first thing Yubin saw once she stepped into the room was Minji sitting on Gahyeon’s bed rubbing the younger girl’s back who was curled into a ball and moaning in pain. Siyeon entered after her, the medicine bag in her hands. She quickly handed it to Handong who was the one who mostly handled that part whenever one of them was sick._

_It was at that time that Bora started ushing the other members out of the room. They all knew Gahyeon hated being sick and she hated being seen that way and so they complied, leaving only Minji and Handong with her._

_The others made their way back to the kitchen. The cheerful atmosphere from before was long gone and Bora turned the stove back on and continued cooking their lunch while the others sat down at the table, all in silence. They were a very close-knit group and so seeing one of their own in pain was always a hard thing._

_Yubin’s thoughts were all over the place as she wondered if she should say something about all the other things she’d noticed recently regarding Gahyeon. She wasn’t sure if it would help or if all it would do was make them all even more worried. She sat there overthinking for so long, lost in her thoughts, that by the time she finally decided to speak up and share her observations, Handong was walking into the kitchen, instantly getting everyone’s attention._

_“She’s fine. She took some medicine and she’s already feeling better”, she quickly reassured her before they even had time to ask. A wave of relief settled over the whole group at the news. They spent the rest of the day relatively restrained in contrast to the usual chaos reigning in dreamcatcher’s dorm. Minji didn’t come out of Gahyeon’s bedroom for most of the day and it wasn’t until both girls showed up for dinner that night with Gahyeon smiling that everyone finally relaxed. Yubin noticed that Gahyeon had second servings and scarfed both plates down and felt her previous worries alleviate._

_She was so relieved at seeing the other girl eating again and looking like herself again that she forgot about everything she’d seen, assuming it’d all been a consequence of her being sick and that everything was back to normal once more. She was just glad she hadn’t spoken up earlier, having been wrong about there being something wrong._

_Months later, when she heard the doctor stating that Gahyeon’s condition had gotten so much worse after being left untreated for so long, Yubin would find herself paying the price for her silence._

Unable to bear the weight of the memories any longer, Yubin slipped away from the kitchen, leaving the ghost of what once was behind. She stopped in front of the open doorway to her bedroom, spotting Minji sleeping in her own bed alongside Handong. Siyeon’s on the other hand, was empty just like she expected it to be. 

Without another thought, she left their shared room and walked down the hallway, quietly creeping into what used to be Handong and Gahyeon’s bedroom. Handong had not spent a single night there ever since the night they’d gotten the call, finding the memories of all the nights she’d spent with the maknae cuddling in bed, talking for hours, too painful. 

Siyeon, on the other hand, spent most of the time they were in the dorm there and so, Yubin was unsurprised to see her figure lying in Gahyeon’s bed, facing the wall. Yubin quietly slipped into the bed next to the other girl just like she had for the last few months. She wrapped an arm around the older girl’s waist and got a simple squeeze on her hand which let her know she was awake. No words were shared as both girls laid there, waiting for sleep to grant them a respite from their inner demons. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Comments are highly appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are greatly appreciated and constructive criticism is welcomed :)


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